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Unread 07-06-2005, 11:39 PM   #1
Majorthinker
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A Bissel Chayus

How do you give yourself chayus when you feel really dead, and there's no one who can help you get it?
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Unread 07-07-2005, 01:44 AM   #2
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and there's no one who can help you get it?
Why ask us then...?
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Unread 07-07-2005, 02:12 AM   #3
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Us Chassidim have something even better than mashke to warm us up! We have Chassidus!!

The middos come from the moiach...When the middos have a "dead" (or cold) hergesh its because the moiach is "dead" (or cold etc). (I.e. the emotions are the effect of the thoughts, which are their cause.) I prescribe that you put everything (and I mean literally everything) out of your mind, and sit down and learn a Maamer Chassidus b'iyun. It will give you chayus. This is a fact of nature (see עמוד נח of Kuntres Hispaalus). The more you invest yourself in it, the more chayus it will give you. Try it out and you will see.

(Another reason why this will work as a fact (if you invest yourself) is because of the known fact that atzvus and kaltkeit comes from the choishech of the sitra achara, and Chassidus is the "medicine" that obliterates and destroys the darkness of the s"a.)
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Unread 07-07-2005, 02:14 AM   #4
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You know the saying, "Mashke macht shiker, gelt macht meshugeh, Chassidus macht frum"! I say, however, "Chassidus macht shiker, meshugeh un frum!"
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Unread 07-07-2005, 12:57 PM   #5
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...and if what I said in post #3 doesn't seem to work, then I suggest an increased investment in Davening (specifically in the "psukey rachmonus"), according to what the A"R says (in מאמרי אדמו"ר הזקן, הנחות הר"פ ז"ל, ד"ה וספרתם לכם, אות ב). Then return and try post #3 again. (And a hachloto and strengthening of Kabbolos Ol Malchus Shamayim in Machshovo, Dibur, UMaaseh will also certainly help.)
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Unread 07-07-2005, 05:54 PM   #6
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Whew! Okay, I'm going to give post #3 a shot first. Thanx so much. Wish me luck. BTW- b'iyun =in depth?
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Last edited by Majorthinker; 07-07-2005 at 07:33 PM.
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Unread 07-25-2005, 09:12 PM   #7
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Post number 3 might have worked, except that I have no desire to learn....I haven't davened either the past few days...
So now what? Give it up and concentrate in something else? I have other things that I have to work on, too.
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Unread 07-25-2005, 10:30 PM   #8
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hey - chassidus is actually very fun and refreshing... maybe learn samach t'samach if your'e up to it - it will teach you a lot of chassidus too - but let me warn you that this is not for beginners. if you are just beginning then look at something like 5700 or acharei mos 5649 - also some stuff in 5643-4 will be of some use.

if your'e looking for a shaking experience then learn shuva yisroel ranat, or some of the mammorim kuntreisim of the frierdiker rebbe. i must tell you that the rebbe's maamorim are very hard and very difficult - although there is a paricular maamer which inspires me to this day although it's d"h i have forgotten - it's in meluket 5 and it's not so hard.

of course - maybe chat some more on chabadtalk - it should give you some chayus (definitely give me some chayus and chizuk)

maybe listen to some music (accapela of course ) or just go outside and play some ball (iv'e been wanting to do that - problem is that the park is under construction) - i haven't been there in ages

Last edited by Hiskashrus; 07-25-2005 at 10:33 PM.
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Unread 07-25-2005, 10:32 PM   #9
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Thanx.
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Unread 07-26-2005, 02:40 AM   #10
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Thumbs up

Giving tzedakah also increases chayus.
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Unread 07-26-2005, 03:43 PM   #11
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I find that it helps to fake it- do something that requires Chayus (being enthusiastic on Mivtzoyim, dancing at a Chasuna, teaching a beginner Torah) and pretend that you really feel excited, and after a while it starts being real.
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Unread 07-26-2005, 11:01 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Majorchassid
I haven't davened either the past few days...
.
Oy vay. you didn't daven because of lack of chayus or because you didn't have time or what?
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Unread 07-26-2005, 11:49 PM   #13
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i haven't davened for the past 8 months. depends what you call davening. if it's shmona esrei and the rest, then iv'e davened every day, but if you are talking about a good proper davening - well - i don't know.

what i do realize is that all other groups daven better than us lubavitchers. it's just interesting and i don't know why - the srugis, the modern orthodox, other chassidim, litvaks - lubavitchers are by far the worst daveners. - and iv'e been all over the place

again, it doesn't terribly bother me because i'm an 'awful' davener (maybe 20 minutes on a lucky day) but i don't really see too many 'average chaim' dugmaos for me to mimic.
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Unread 07-27-2005, 03:49 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Kiddush
again, it doesn't terribly bother me because i'm an 'awful' davener (maybe 20 minutes on a lucky day) but i don't really see too many 'average chaim' dugmaos for me to mimic.
There are very few ppl. who actually daven properly- most spend about 20 minutes for shacharis, and 5 for mincha.
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Unread 07-27-2005, 03:50 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by believer
Oy vay. you didn't daven because of lack of chayus or because you didn't have time or what?
Didn't have the time, and didn't feel like trying to squish it in (although I could've).
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Unread 07-27-2005, 08:00 PM   #16
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If someone really doesnt have time to daven shacharis, they should daven 2 minchas. Even though I really have a hard time davening, I do it. Usually if I miss one davening i feel really guilty. I daven because I know G-d wants me to, and G-d created the world and He could get rid of me whenever he wants or make something happen to me or something chas vshalom, and also davening protects me and I'm really scared. And also because the Rebbe wants me to.
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Unread 07-27-2005, 09:13 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by believer
If someone really doesnt have time to daven shacharis, they should daven 2 minchas
What does "not having enough time" mean, that would justify 2 minchas? Usually one is not that bust, that they couldn't find time to davven a Shmona Esrei - especially if we are talking about females. OTOH, if we are talking about females, then there are the opinions that brochos etc is enough, therefore there would not be a reason to davven 2 SA's...
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Unread 07-27-2005, 09:19 PM   #18
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i don't know how it is with neshamos d'ban.

i'm talking about a minyan, most people daven 30 mintutes with a minyan - but i average at about 15 minutes (20 is on a lucky day). although i'll tell you - to daven in the summer all by myself without any outside encouragement is something big. i won't always daven in the mornings - although i try to. but 8:00 shkia is very tempting. also i take that davening takes up a different priority regarding girls (by men it's among the top).

believer, davening 2 minchas has never been done with chassidim. once my rosh yeshiva said that he 'couldn't hold himslef in' and davened mincha - but even he said to us later that this shouldn't be done - but rather to daven shacharis.

although it clearly states that one should daven mincha twice... i guess that we chassidim are supposed to consider everything we do. every flick of the wrist and every instance of nosepicking - a preparation for davening.

i'm not talking out against this - personally i have no problem, but i do think that this is another way for people to allow to fool themselves
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Unread 07-27-2005, 09:20 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by believer
If someone really doesnt have time to daven shacharis, they should daven 2 minchas
What does "not having enough time" mean, that would justify 2 minchas? Usually one is not that busy, that they couldn't find time to davven a Shmona Esrei - especially if we are talking about females. OTOH, if we are talking about females, then there are the opinions that brochos etc is enough, therefore there would not be a reason to davven 2 SA's...
Kiddush - as some of the things you write are blatantly wrong (and against halocho), I don't think you should be writing them (especially in a public venue).

Last edited by Torah613; 07-27-2005 at 09:23 PM.
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Unread 07-27-2005, 09:57 PM   #20
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it's a fact. people don't daven mincha twice - why - i don't really know and how it's permissible i don't really know either.

mashpi'im roshei yeshivos and other people who i rely on to be big yirei shomaim would never daven mincha twice (of course, they almost never wake up late)

if it's my honesty of saying when i daven that upsets you, then why are you using the internet? - for as many things that you can trash me with i can trash back with 10 times the amount of halachic problems.

and if you want to give me heteirim, then i can tell you all my heteirim.

and i have really no idea why you are so upset at me. i'm not writing this as any official chabad body, and i'm not even claiming to be chassidish - i'm simply being honest and open - if i can't do it on the internet then where can i?

if you can't tolerate such things in real life - well - it's ok then (i would still have a problem, but it's your life and your mind and your decision) but the internet is a very public venue when we can express what we think without having to worry about being embarassed or offensive.

of course people can still get offended by some comments and remarks, and that is why we have moderators.

there are many things that you say that i would strongly oppose and disapprove and also consider unsuitable for the public (considering that everyone shared my feelings and views)

calm down. it's only the internet - and this is the place where we try to encourage "asei tov" and not "sur merah" - so let's keep it at that.

for example - if you didn't like something that i posted then you can post an informative reply stating my mistake and error and then i would stand corrected and learn something new. but making such statements would simply scare me (and possibly other people) away from this site (how's that for integrity of halacha)

please, i don't want to start a personal battle, and if you'll feel a bit "aropgepished" then keep it to yourself - your post will get deleted anyway if it's to offensive. your best tactic (and everyone's best friend) is to be INFORMATIVE.

good luck
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Unread 07-27-2005, 10:11 PM   #21
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I'm not upset. From what? What do I care when (or if) you davven?
One has to realize that this is public - with all the yenikah lechitzonim it entails, therefore questionable statements of what "chassidim" have done or do, what is considered hachono (and the mockery of it), should be written with care.
[To be honest - I don't undertsand most of your last post. Whatever].
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Unread 07-27-2005, 11:10 PM   #22
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I'm sorry I haden't made it clear, but I was talking about girls. I heard you're supposed to daven 2 minchas.
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Unread 07-27-2005, 11:13 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torah613
OTOH,
What does that stand for?
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Unread 07-27-2005, 11:56 PM   #24
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and this is one of the things i can't stand today with many people - they are outwards-oriented. their whole life is spent thinking about other people.... but not in regards to other people's welfare, but rather in regards to other people's yiddishkeit.

one may ask "isn't that a good thing?" - iv'e already written about this at length here:

http://chabadtalk.com/forum/showpost...46&postcount=3

i would love to expand on this issue since i think that it's plaguing our inner minds and our surroundings. i personally think that i - with my leniencies and kalus - am less of a harm to yiddishkeit and lubavitch as a whole - than the afformentioned problem.

this is not a personal attack and shoudn't be viewed as such. if there is yenika (or a potential cause for it) then let it be fixed by correcting and not by rebuking. if chassidim daven late - shouldn't that be explained? shouldn't 770 be closed down - since it's yenika. shouldn't we allow private entries to yeshivos since it's yenika?

iv'e visited many places and iv'e never seen people trying to 'cover up' as much as iv'e seen here in lubavitcher establishments. we have enough to offer as our honest selves and making a false impression that everyone is holy WILL turn people off.

it's a fact that the only people today who are attacking are those people who are looking to raise controversy - people don't care about these things and only idiots get impressed (and make assumptions) from shows; i know many people who know the inner workings of a day-to-day lubavitcher lifestyle, and yet still respect lubavitch.

as iv'e said in the above mentioned thread, chabad is a way of though and that is what impresses people.

why are we always so worried about what the other guy does and what the other guy thinks? isn't that the opposite of free-thinking? isn't that the opposite of chabad? isn't that faking to an extreme?

i once went on mivtzoim with someone who was very "makpid" on some things (regarding mivtzoim)... but now he himself is barely religious! why did it happen? i'm not fully pointing to the fact that he was 'makpid' on some things... but one day you just wake up and start thinking about your honest self and how chaotic youv'e become inside - well - there can be some very unwanted and unpredicted consequences resulting from that "wake-up call"

it's the job of tzadikim to worry about the whole generation, but as simple and selfish folk, we should look at ourselves too (of course the rebbe had asked to spread judaism, but that takes upon a whole different meaning than worrying about someone else's yiddishkeit. what the rebbe meant was that people try to encourage and enrich your fellow's judaism - and when it is done in that light then it is done compeletely different.)

and that's why i like this forum and the internet in general. i have enough friends and contacts to talk to and a few faceless and nameless people on chabadtalk won't make much of a social enrichment, but it's the freedom and the anonimity and the honest, which impress me. i wouldn't make the slightest clue as to who i am, but that's ok - because here at the internet i'm not judged by my yichus or looks or my ability to deliver a good mussar shmooze, but rather how i think about issues.

there are people over here who may not exactly agree with things i have to say, and there are things people say that i do not exactly agree with - (and i will fight and correct them if i'm up to it).

mashpi'm, igros and yechi are some of the things of which i have different views on - but i respect it when it's presented in an honest and personal fashion.

i am an author and have written some texts, and i'm also an avid reader and i frequent public and private functions, but never can i get an opinion as honest as the one i get on the internet.

people can deliver nice speeches, inspiring ones too and they can write nice books, but what really makes a person shift is an honest and appealing opinion.

now, of course there have been times where a simple book or speech was enough to inspire a person, but that is only because the idea was already existant in the person, but only in a very primitive form - but when he heard that speech, when he read that book - he then recieved that "extra push" to get him going.

but what i'm talking about is implementing (is that how it's spelled) new ideals into a person, or perhaps other things which a person may need but is unaware of - the way to unleash and harness those ideals is through honesty and personality - when people can relate to one's character, one's way of thinking - then he (ok, it may also be a she) can also begin to relate to his friend's ideas - and the source of inspiration in this case will be the friend, while the idea still remains abstract.

as a side note, this is also the reasons for many minhagim today:

chassidim try to express their "love" for the rebbe in trying to do things that the rebbe did and say things the rebbe said because it makes them feel the bond and connection between them and the rebbe. by some people this had come naturally, but this behavior is so superfluous by some that it just sickens me. love is something that comes naturally and cannot be implanted in someone's head by any specific action or though.

ooops... seems iv'e lost myself in the night and in the topic. good night and chassidishe chalomos!
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Unread 07-31-2005, 07:37 PM   #25
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ummmmmm, this is a thread on how to get chayus, kiddush
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