Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk  

Go Back   Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk > Torah and Judaism > Teenagers

View Poll Results:
0 0%
Voters: 0. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 7 votes, 4.29 average. Display Modes
Unread 02-16-2003, 01:48 PM   #176
hunlly
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 11
how would i go about it ? is it a commen thing ?
hunlly is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-16-2003, 02:00 PM   #177
Jude
Executive Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 8,345
posts 61-70 (page 5) discuss issues brought up on this page
Jude is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-16-2003, 07:21 PM   #178
Sky'sTheLimit
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 22
relating to what dr. yisroel said... shmoozer, i totally agree! that's ridiculous! hiring a mashpia? the world's come pretty far if people can actually charge money to do something the rebbe held so dear to him- a bakasha nafshis! well, i guess i'm not the one to judge, but i don't think Hashem's too happy with that either! or whatever, maybe they are really hard- pressed for money? a mashpia is not exactly a psychologist or a psychiatrist...

Last edited by Sky'sTheLimit; 02-16-2003 at 11:23 PM.
Sky'sTheLimit is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-28-2003, 01:26 AM   #179
Mashpuz
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 8
what are the responsabilities of a mashpia?
what can one expect from one?
Mashpuz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-28-2003, 01:38 AM   #180
noahidelaws
Executive Platinum Member
 
noahidelaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,479
BS"D (all frequent posters sing in unison: )

Have you read the thread?
noahidelaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-02-2003, 02:04 AM   #181
Mashpuz
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 8
sorry I actually didn't do my homework properly...
now that I had a pretty deeep hour or so let me rephrase...
how much can you demand from a mashpia-meaning where should the effort come from should you be running after them or should they be the ones reminding you and pushing you in the right direction by asking how things are doing...

another question is when do you know it's time to switch I've gone through one and it has been close to no help at all (I hated going to her it was a burden but I wanted to pursue it bec I was willing to work on it) and when should you stop working on the realshionship and switch

Hope I was clear (sorry about the length...)
Mashpuz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-02-2003, 12:17 PM   #182
Jude
Executive Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 8,345
I don't know if there are definitive answers to your questions but here's what I think:

re who should be chasing who - since "asei lecha rav" is directed towards the person who needs to make himself a rav/mashpia, it sounds like the onus is on the mushpa to seek out the mashpia

re when is it time to move on - when your current relationship is unproductive despite your best efforts
Jude is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-02-2003, 01:55 PM   #183
c'mon
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 16
i agree that the "burden" of who runs after who sort of thing belongs to the mushpa and its the mashpa's responsibility to make sure you're touching base frequently.
but if you know yourself well and you know you need someone who will be on top of you and be the one keeping it going, then make sure you clarify that with your mashpia before, and if she/he cant commit to that, you gotta ask someone else, you have to make sure your mashpia can help your needs.
c'mon is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-02-2003, 05:33 PM   #184
Mashpuz
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 8
thanx for answering
my question on the answers are:
when is "the best of your ability"?
I feel like i'm going "mashpia hopping" the before passed already how much should I work on it before changing where is that very fine line that makes you change your mashpia
thanx in advance
Mashpuz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2003, 03:04 AM   #185
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
Mashpuz- usually the best thing is to talk to your Mashpia about the relationship and your problems with how it's going (like in any relationship), and if you both agree that it's not going anywhere and isn't likely to, it's time to find a new Mashpia. The main thing is that you should discuss the situation with your Mashpia before you cut it off.
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2003, 03:05 AM   #186
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
Do you put on a gartel when you talk to your Mashpia? After all, it is a Hora'ah from the Rebbe...?
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-18-2003, 12:50 AM   #187
noahidelaws
Executive Platinum Member
 
noahidelaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,479
BS"D Uh, and where do you get the idea that this is the proper custom when fulfilling hora'os?
noahidelaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-18-2003, 01:02 AM   #188
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
Quote:
where do you get the idea
Uh... osmosis?
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-18-2003, 01:10 AM   #189
noahidelaws
Executive Platinum Member
 
noahidelaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,479
BS"D Well, it's a "derher" (feeling) that some people have, but personally, IMHO there are more basic and widely neglected things in avoda that need to be emphasised first.
noahidelaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-14-2003, 02:13 AM   #190
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
[in reference to posts 100-110: Just wanted to share some happy news: My Mashpia undumped me, just in time for Yud-Alef Nissan! Hope that inspires someone- definitely inspired me!]
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-01-2003, 12:55 PM   #191
noahidelaws
Executive Platinum Member
 
noahidelaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,479
BS"D Did she ask her mashpia first?
noahidelaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-01-2003, 01:10 PM   #192
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
Didn't ask
It's all good, though!
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-27-2003, 10:12 PM   #193
loveshabbas
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 5
i think people think too deeply into the idea about mashpia -
keep constant contact and don't let your life revolve around him/her!
loveshabbas is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-03-2003, 05:34 AM   #194
shmush
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 252
don't rely on a mashpia, you gotta learn how to take care of yourself! by all means, if you want one-have one, but don't make it the focus of your life. i mean, they're also only human.
wateva-that's just my personal opinion.
shmush is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-03-2003, 03:16 PM   #195
zaque36
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 767
I agree with you, shmush. There are some people who ask their mashpia for every little thing and come to rely on them for advice for everything! I dont think it should be like that, u gotta use ur own mind once in a while....
__________________
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
zaque36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-03-2003, 08:14 PM   #196
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
The Rebbe said to have a Mashpia, so that's really not debatable .

I think you're right that some people rely on their Mashpiim too much and never make their own decisions, but from what I've seen, even that's a stage, because the Mashpia will end it. Learning to make decisions based on a Chassidishe hergesh is like learning to walk- you practice while holding on to something before you let go.
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-04-2003, 02:05 AM   #197
shmush
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 252
cute analogy hisht, but i still dont' think that's the point of a mashpia. if it's just gonna incapacitate you so that u run to them for everything-that's stupid. maybe for SOME things it's good to have someone, but hey, this is all just theoretical for me. i do'nt have and probably never will have one B"H!!!
shmush is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-04-2003, 02:55 AM   #198
hishtatchus
Senior Diamond Member
 
hishtatchus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,606
Yeah, Shmush, but been there done that! You don't HAVE to run to them for everything- most people talk to their Mashpias once a week or once every two weeks. It's up to you how you want it to go.

Sure it's hard to START, but once you have a Mashpia you wonder what you did without one!
hishtatchus is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-04-2003, 05:28 AM   #199
shmush
Executive Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 252
well, one of the only people that i kknow with a mashpia speaks to hers like EVERY night! not kidding. and she's still majorly messed up so.............i just don't see the point.
and hisht-i'm really glad for you taht u enjoy having a mashpia, but hey, i just wasn't built for that.
shmush is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-04-2003, 01:32 PM   #200
zaque36
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 767
<<< i do'nt have and probably never will have one B"H!!!>>>

why is that a reason to thank/bless hashem? why u happy bout it? (yea yea, i know ur supposed to bless even on bad things...)
__________________
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
zaque36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
mashpia in comparison to shiduchim iamachassid Shidduchim & Marriage 31 01-19-2007 05:05 AM
Finding a Mashpia while climbing through the web of issues (teenagers) Moishe Controversy 174 01-13-2006 01:05 PM
Physicality In The Higher Spiritual Realms? noahidelaws Hashkafah 0 12-28-2003 08:03 AM
Maamar: ANI LEDODI VEDODI LI 5732 Rabbi_D Elul 13 09-08-2003 12:10 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:39 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2001 - 2016 ChabadTalk.com