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Unread 10-08-2002, 09:37 PM   #51
Jude
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uh, that's not really saying anything, I'm sure you realize
better not to post than to say whatever ...
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Unread 10-08-2002, 10:12 PM   #52
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Sometimes we find that experiance is the best teacher.

It is common for teenagers not to listen. They are by nature OD (Opositional Defient). Often, believe it or not, if someone went through a similar experience and they talk about it, they listen. Especially, if the person is not rebuking them and is sincere.

I wish you much success. There are enough lubavitch teenagers out there that could use a little advice from someone who cares.
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Unread 10-09-2002, 10:07 AM   #53
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Quote:
They are by nature OD
yup, gotta lock them away or remember to give them their meds
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Unread 10-09-2002, 04:35 PM   #54
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i guess so but wtvr
i didnt understand what u just said explain please
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Unread 10-09-2002, 04:44 PM   #55
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I was being sarcastic about the current fad over diagnosing everybody and every behavior with medical terms, like we're all sick.
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Unread 10-09-2002, 05:04 PM   #56
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o i see!!!
im alittle slow!!
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Unread 10-09-2002, 05:16 PM   #57
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You had a problem with what I said?
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Unread 10-09-2002, 05:56 PM   #58
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no i didnt fine n ething wrong with wut u said just that even when u are telling someone what uve gone threw to try to persued them from doing that bad thing they were planning on doing it most of the time doesnt work bec they wana go threw it and see that it really is bad!!
most teens wont take advice form someone who went threw and and then they go and mess everything up for themslefs!!
what should u do about that? to convience somone not to do taht bad thng?
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Unread 10-09-2002, 07:22 PM   #59
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Perhaps, you should try it out.

I was working with a "Jewish teen" some time ago. He was going through the "no one is going to make me be religious" thing. After he finally came the conclusion that he wanted yo be frum out of choice, he ended up going into some program that was forming at the time and helping a lot of others.

He was considered a "cool" guy, and people always gravitated toward him. He took to his advantage and did good with it.
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Unread 10-09-2002, 08:05 PM   #60
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ok for some ppl it works... but alot of ppl its very hard to get them to unsderstand that u know what u r talking about and that u have been threw it and that u (the otherpreson) doesnt want to go threw it!! someone i know they r like no no i dont beleive u its not bad ill hold myself bak... but they dont know that its really hard and they dont beleive me that once u start its hard to relize but then when u do u regret it like crazy!! i cant convince tehm and they are getting alittle messed up...
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Unread 10-10-2002, 12:42 AM   #61
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Well, atleast you tried. You did your part. This person, obviously need experience to be their teacher.

....we call them "kinesthetic learners".
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Unread 10-10-2002, 08:53 PM   #62
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so u r just supose to sit bak and watch them "kill" themslefs? and get such a big avayra?? like wut?? i cant watch them go threw that !!!
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Unread 10-10-2002, 09:38 PM   #63
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Ok, I obvoiusly don't see the whole picture. How about this, what do you think should be done?
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Unread 10-11-2002, 01:18 PM   #64
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i dont know what should be done but i wish something could be done because so many ppl are really killing themselfs by not lsitening to ppl who have gone threw it and i feel really bad and i just cant watch it happen
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Unread 10-11-2002, 01:38 PM   #65
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I like that attitude - it's the one the Rebbe Rashab expressed to a non-Chasidic gadol, when the latter said to him: listen, you tried your best. The Rebbe Rashab responded: Yes, but we didn't succeed!

you're right, the point is to succeed, the question is how to go about it. At the very least (and it's not so "least") you can daven for them.
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Unread 10-11-2002, 02:37 PM   #66
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of course i do!!
no doubt bout that one!!
but still u know??
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Unread 10-11-2002, 03:36 PM   #67
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Jude I like this story. What is the makor?
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Unread 10-12-2002, 09:53 PM   #68
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awert.. u gotta let people live their lives. they have to learn from there mistakes. why dont u concentrate on yourself and u can try to help others but dont kill yourself bc of the choices that they're making. hopefully one day they"ll relize they were wrong and they will iyh come to the truth. loosen up.
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Unread 10-12-2002, 11:17 PM   #69
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but the thing is that the mostake they r making is so big and so regretfula nd i dont remmber where this is said but it says "if u were put in the situation that someone says touch that girl...or ill kill u ..." u r sopose to die u r not supose to touch that person to save ur life thats why im all choked up on it and not letting it pass by me!! its too hard to watch ppl go threw...it horrible what it does to them
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Unread 10-12-2002, 11:30 PM   #70
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A lot of times when schools make rules like "no talking to boys/girls unless they are your brother/sister under the age of six months" it makes kids who would normally not even consider doing it suddenly want to do it. Some kids will do it out of "well, why don't they want me to do it? Let me do it and then I"ll see what's so wrong with it, " not understanding that that doesn't work too well. Or they'll do it because "I"ll show the principal that it wont' affect ME at all, " or "Ha, this'll be fun. Let's see how long I can do it without getting caught, and then what punishment will they give me?"

So what should they do about this? I doubt that there's any kids who would normally talk to girls/ boys but they won't because its a school rule. Is there a way to make this better?
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Unread 10-13-2002, 02:31 PM   #71
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shlucha i agree with u 100% i myslef used to be in a school like that i thought like that myslerf tehn when i switched skools to a skool who didnt have such ruiles and lets the kids parenst set the rules in the house i have no want to do "bad" things n e more even though i am allowed to do thoes "bad" things i dont want to do it n e more!! and i think that skools who have thoes rules should come to relize that and stop because thoes rulkes are what is making the kids "go off" and its sad story to watch ..
i think if the skools wouldnt have thoes rules the kids wouldnt be as bad maybe some would still be bad but most of them i dont think would be nearly as bad as they r now!!
and i dont know how it would be n e better!!
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Unread 10-13-2002, 03:16 PM   #72
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You are right! There is still a standard that has to be set.

People need structure. Without structure in our lives we are left with a void that cannot be easilt filled.

Really, what these schools are doing is setting up a system; bounderies. Kind of liek "muksah".

We need the concept of "mukseh" in our lives. It avoids a lot of problems.

I do agree with you that the way it is done is not the right way. There are certainly better ways of doing it.

I will take the liberty of putting a plug in for my book coming out soon. "Climbing Jacob's Ladder" - Teaching and Counseling Orthodox Students. In the book I go through an extensive system of evaulating and implimenting what I think is the proper system in the Orthodox schools today. Rabbi Abraham Twerski wrote a foreward to the book. It is availible at 30% off now as a prepublication offer through DwellingPlace Publishing. Toll Free 866-DWELLPLACE 0r DwellingPLacePublishing* ** ** ** **... ** ** ** ** *. Order your copy today!
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Unread 10-13-2002, 04:07 PM   #73
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proud2blub, u really think that awert should just sit back, 'loosen up' as u say and watch her friends mess themselves up?
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Unread 10-13-2002, 04:22 PM   #74
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she should try everything she should but she shouldnt kill herself over it like it sounds liek shes doing. awert:

"if u were put in the situation that someone says touch that girl...or ill kill u ..." u r sopose to die u r not supose to touch that person to save ur life"

can u find the source for that, i have a hard time believing that?
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Unread 10-13-2002, 04:33 PM   #75
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proud, it's an explicit halacha in the Yad, fifth Perek of Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah.
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