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Unread 09-24-2009, 11:11 AM   #1
BL Teshuva
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Public School

I am a young baal teshuva and started to become frum while in public school. Right now I am in my senior year in high school.

It is such an incredible challenge just trying to keep strong. The school is the exact opposite of everything I learned about for proper behavior Its terrible. It's a school, where 50% of the kids are Jewish but I can count the number of frum kids on one hand.

I don't want to go there but my parents want me to. Any advice?
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Unread 09-24-2009, 11:23 AM   #2
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Do you have a local rabbi who is supportive?
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Unread 09-24-2009, 12:05 PM   #3
BL Teshuva
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Yes, I have strong support from the Chabad rabbis and community, but I can't bring him to school with me.
In fact I'm looking to study in eretz yisrael and my rabbi got in contact with the rosh yeshiva who was willing to take me on right away. My parents want me to finish high school though.
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Unread 09-25-2009, 12:33 AM   #4
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May G-d bless you to be successful in your desire to stay attached to Him.

As the Alter Rebbe explains in chapter 22 of Tanya, it is very close for a Jew to remain attached to G-d, in spite of all difficulties.

And hopefully soon you will be able to be in a Yeshiva where you want to be.

Hope to hear good news.
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Unread 09-26-2009, 10:21 PM   #5
Fesoy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BL Teshuva View Post
I don't want to go there but my parents want me to. Any advice?
1. What local Torah schools are there?
2.What local Rabbis do you have to set up regular learning classes?

I don't think that your parents would allow you to drop out of school, but if you had a viable alternative they may be open to that.
You are almost at the point of graduation. Perhaps you can start looking towards a yeshiva at that point.

Wishing you success!
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Unread 10-27-2009, 05:28 PM   #6
BL Teshuva
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What if my parent's were open to the idea of letting me get my GED, spend a semester in Yeshiva then go to a "frum" college? Is it a good idea.
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Unread 10-27-2009, 07:36 PM   #7
emes m'eretz
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Why just half a year?

Why not a full year in Yeshiva, and at that point (after a year) you can consider what to do next.
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Unread 10-27-2009, 07:59 PM   #8
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I would suggest consulting with your personal Rav/mashpia/spiritual advisor who knows you and your family firsthand and would know what is the best course for you to take.
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Unread 10-27-2009, 08:23 PM   #9
Fesoy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BL Teshuva View Post
What if my parent's were open to the idea of letting me get my GED, spend a semester in Yeshiva then go to a "frum" college? Is it a good idea.
You said that you were in your last semester of high school and that your parents were not supportive of you leaving. Has anything changed?
I'm questioning the value of your "what if" scenario question?

I agree that one semester in Yeshiva is a very short time. Naturally it's a better alternative than not going at all.

How have your parents reacted to you becoming a baal tshuva, so far?
Parents do want what they feel is best for their children, even if the children don't see eye to eye with them.

Do your parents want you to get an education and then make a career, the way that most parents desire? It's a valuable thing to have a good parnossoh to support your future family in yeshivas, etc. They are very expensive.

A frum college may be something that your parents will agree to. It's a good idea to not jump into college right away if you are not clear about what you want to do with your life as far as career is concerned. Parents often agree to their children spending a year after high school to "find themselves". I recommend that you speak to your parents about your desire to learn in a yeshiva for a year after high school, and explain that this will help you for the rest of your life, and will certainly be a great foundation for everything that you do afterwards, if that includes college or further yeshiva study.

Parents are often skeptical of their children who become baal tshuva. I know, because I speak from experience. It's a long and slow process, sometimes, of "winning them over" to accept the new you. They want to make sure that you are not hurting yourself and that you are really sincere in your desire.

I wish you much success.
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Unread 10-27-2009, 08:40 PM   #10
BL Teshuva
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My parents are now more open to the idea of allowing me to leave HS. I would hope to spend as much time as I could in yeshiva, then go to a "frum college". Both my parents and I want me to get a good education.

The problem with HS is I can't handle it. The work is the same the people are the same, but I'm different. It's impossible for a frum Jew to go there.

My parents are very supportive of me and becoming a baal teshuva. I only hope they can see that learning gemara and halacha and chassidus is more important for me than poetry and trigonometry.

I have undoubtedly taken the fast track I'm just stuck for the moment and want to get going again.
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Unread 10-27-2009, 11:47 PM   #11
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The fact that your parents are open to the idea of you leaving high school, but still finishing with your degree as a GED and going to yeshiva is significant. One option that may be available for you would be cyber school. That would mean that you could learn on your own and not go to the high school with the negative influences. As far as changing more than half way through your senior year, that may not be an option.

Find out what your options are for getting a GED and leaving public school. Work with your parents and advisers who can help you. Next pick a yeshiva and enroll.

Action is the main thing.

Once again. Hotzlocho Roboh!
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