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Unread 11-26-2008, 06:55 PM   #1
ktonton
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feminine boy

I saw a while back a very strange boy. Even as a young child, he didn't think that girls had cooties and instead prefered playing games like house with girls and has rarely interacted with boys save for bullying. When he is in an all boys enviornments like camp, he does very poorly, but he seems to thrive in the coed dayschool he is in. With highschool looming around the corner, how would you suggest handling him?

the parents were at a loss as to what to do, and it seemed like there was so much going on, I was wondering what input I could get from here.

thank you.
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Unread 11-26-2008, 07:21 PM   #2
Torah613
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I would suggest having him speak to a professional - something that you will likely not find here.
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Unread 11-26-2008, 10:45 PM   #3
ktonton
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I would suggest having him speak to a professional - something that you will likely not find here.
Do you know what professionals generaly suggest for boys like that?
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Unread 11-26-2008, 11:04 PM   #4
Torah613
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I have not the slightest idea.
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Unread 11-26-2008, 11:20 PM   #5
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I have not the slightest idea.
heres a hint: they tell them to violate several issurei deoraita l'fi divrei hakol.
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Unread 11-26-2008, 11:25 PM   #6
Torah613
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So find a pro sympathetic to Torah and Mitzvos.
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Unread 11-26-2008, 11:30 PM   #7
ktonton
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Quote:
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So find a pro sympathetic to Torah and Mitzvos.
and if they tell you to find a coed school for him?

Do you disregard him? do you choose to send him to a modern orthodox school? which one? do you send him to public school with extensive additional time with a local chabad rav working on gemorah, chassidus, halocho, etc?

which was rather intended to be the point.

when the child reaches an age where normaly all lubavitch kids are in segregated schooling, what do you do with him school wise?

There are a number of (some purely theoretical) options. I am wondering what people here think of this situation. (or any situation where regular chabad yeshivot may (may!) do more harm than good.

So how would you propose to amorialate the situation?
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Unread 11-26-2008, 11:54 PM   #8
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Find a sensitive, knowledgeable competant Rov to work in conjunction with a sympathetic (or frum) professional.
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Unread 11-27-2008, 05:03 AM   #9
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Oy vey, ktonton. Where do you find all these situations?
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Unread 11-27-2008, 06:03 AM   #10
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Real life is a splendid source, and the best thing is that it's always ready to supply yet another, even more horrific situation. Look out the window, or at your Windows.

(Is there an emoticon for 'tongue in cheek'?)
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Unread 11-27-2008, 06:12 AM   #11
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Hey, I wouldn't call this situation horrific. It's just unusual. Unless, of course, you would call me horrific as well for defying stereotypes.
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Unread 11-27-2008, 06:49 AM   #12
shlucha14
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No...what I do call horrific is that there isn't an emoticon for 'tongue in cheek'. will have to do.
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Unread 11-27-2008, 07:45 AM   #13
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Okay. That's tongue in lip, though.
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Unread 11-27-2008, 10:05 AM   #14
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Obviously, you find a school that is best for the child. There are some partially-mixed chabad schools. I don't see how his supposed "femininity" has anything to do with the schools question. Who cares if he is more feminine or not? You pick the school in which the child will do best.
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Unread 11-27-2008, 10:18 AM   #15
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That was the question. Is it the school in which the child will do best, or the school that is the most 'frum' and chumra-cally acceptable?

In other words: This was the question, and you gave your opinion, which I happen to agree with.
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Last edited by Majorthinker; 11-27-2008 at 11:46 AM.
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Unread 12-21-2009, 11:44 PM   #16
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I don't understand the whole issue. The kid is effeminate, correct? But he is a boy! Just send him to a regular Yeshivah and he'll have to learn to put limits to his tevah. If you make him just interact with girls, it will be worse. Or are you afraid that the bochrim will laugh at him or something like that?

Let's say you have a "masculine girl." Are you going to send her to Oholei Tora?
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Unread 08-22-2010, 12:05 AM   #17
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Leave him alone.............

B'h
Seriously we have all I think, (well I'll talk 4 myself ) come across the so called 'Tom Boy". Why 4 girls is that more acceptable but when a Boy expresses an indoor quite, at home tendency. that it is already considered an red flag that needs professional help?
Fact is there are some men that make better mothers, and some mothers who make better fathers!
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