Nachas vs. Honesty? - Page 3 - Jewish Forum & Discussions

unonymous · 12-08-2003, 07:24 PM

I think that it IS BENEFICIAL to the child and the parent to hide some of things he or she is doing.

hishtatchus · 12-08-2003, 10:10 PM

The point of that story is not hiding what you're doing, it's that you should realize that the hypocrisy is in wearing the work clothes, not the Kapote.

Jude · 12-09-2003, 09:23 AM

the story is not about "work clothes" but of modern garb and Chasidic garb and the point the Rebbe was making was he thought that when the man came to him dressed in Chasidic garb that this was the "real" person, but now that he came dressed in his usual modern suit, the Rebbe was disappointed to see that the man considered his real self to be a modern Jew.

Vayaaminu · 12-09-2003, 11:17 AM

the story (the moshol) is about work clothes. the nimshal is about modern garb. the point we all agree on.

unonymous · 12-24-2003, 05:31 PM

aha...i see. Im glad we are all agreeing here. Fantastic.

unonymous · 12-28-2003, 06:19 PM

so...is that all? Does anyone have anything more to add?

luba770 · 04-15-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hishtatchus

I've seen a common dilemma among some teenagers today: Should I be open with my parents about where I'm really at, or should I hide it from them so they will be happy?

Case in point: A Bochur who is into all sorts of unsavory activities wears "Chassidishe dress" at home so his mother will be happy with him and not suspect what he does out of the house. I know it's a good thing that he wears the suit and hat, but is it fair to his mother to let her think she can shep Nachas when in fact she should be worrying about him?

Personally, I find being blunt good for me to cultivate my honesty level, but am I cheating my parents in some way? It would actually be very easy to tell them I said the whole Tehillim even if I didn't- and it they would be thrilled.

It's not like it's even a toss-up between my benefit (staying honest) and my parents' benefit (Nachas). Maybe it is good for my parents to know they should be concerned! And then again maybe it's good for me to feel guilty lying so maybe I'll change to fit the lie?

it's just that at home there is a different environment vehamaivin yavin....

12-08-2003, 07:24 PM	#51
unonymous Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 116	I think that it IS BENEFICIAL to the child and the parent to hide some of things he or she is doing. Last edited by unonymous; 01-06-2004 at 07:35 PM.

12-09-2003, 11:17 AM	#54
Vayaaminu Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 237	the story (the moshol) is about work clothes. the nimshal is about modern garb. the point we all agree on. __________________ ...vayaaminu baHashem u'v'Moishe avdoi. ....and (the Jewish people) believed in Hashem and in His servant Moishe.

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12-08-2003, 10:10 PM	#52
hishtatchus Senior Diamond Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 2,606	The point of that story is not hiding what you're doing, it's that you should realize that the hypocrisy is in wearing the work clothes, not the Kapote.

12-09-2003, 09:23 AM	#53
Jude Executive Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 8,345	the story is not about "work clothes" but of modern garb and Chasidic garb and the point the Rebbe was making was he thought that when the man came to him dressed in Chasidic garb that this was the "real" person, but now that he came dressed in his usual modern suit, the Rebbe was disappointed to see that the man considered his real self to be a modern Jew.

12-24-2003, 05:31 PM	#55
unonymous Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 116	aha...i see. Im glad we are all agreeing here. Fantastic.

12-28-2003, 06:19 PM	#56
unonymous Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 116	so...is that all? Does anyone have anything more to add?

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