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Unread 12-27-2007, 10:54 PM   #126
chitas=connect
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Remains of the Chossid who felt it was no big deal to be a Chossid in his home town, but decided to go to the theatre and be Chossid there, and Nu'ch with box seats...
I dont understand, can you explain?
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Unread 12-28-2007, 01:53 AM   #127
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There was once a Chossid who lived in a small town and felt that his sincerety and piety were nothing special since he wasn't exposed to the "real" world so he decided to go to St. Petersburg, then the capital of Russia where all the Tuma is rampant and prove that even there he can be a Chossid. He wasn't even satisfied with that and figured that it's still no major acheivement to be a Chossid just living in the city but rather he wants to be a Chossid in the theatre where all the heavy duty action goes on! If he can be a Chossid there, then hey, he made it! But then he figured, that that's not such a big achievement but he needs to prove that he can be a Chossid even if he sits in boxed seats! Now in those days, to put it bluntly, the theatres were where men and women would be acting adult content LIVE! So if he can sit there and watch everything and STILL be a Chossid, wow! He realy made it! I don't think I need to tell you what became the end of this chossid etc... and the idea is clear...

You chose to allow yourself into a form of relationship that NO mashpia would reccomend, NO Rov would allow, Shulchan aruch discourages with all harshness, and yet you wish to rely on and predict the end results based on the uneducated judgement (and bias) of a 16 year old!
I know someone who was also starting off very subtle, and once he got comfortable... alas, the paths to hell were paved with good intentions...
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Unread 12-28-2007, 02:05 AM   #128
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When I was yonger I also went through a stage where I was doing everything right, Chitas Ramba"m etc. but I couldn't help but be impressed here and there by the looks of a pretty girl until a close friend just happened to show me a qoute from the Mitteler Rebbe in his book "Pokeach Ivrim" where the Mitteler Rebbe makes it clear without any ambiguities that Men who gaze at the beauty of women bring upon them the yetzer horo and with it all the evil buried inside of them! And most miscarriges that women have are as a result of them gazing at the beauty of men!
And it truly made it's mark on me! Today it's innocently commenting on the beauty of a "Bas Yisroel" and tommorow it's looking at **** Chas Vesholom. I even heard from a Chossidishe yid that any form of attraction that a male feels to the female is straight from the "eyver kutun". It may not be in its fullest expression, but yet that's the reality. And that's why the Chabad approach is "Hesech Hadoas" complete distraction, not even to attempt to try to deal with these issues or how to make it work ,but rather to stay focused on what we have to do and what it is that the Rebbe wants from us now to make the world a better place.
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Unread 12-29-2007, 08:49 PM   #129
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And most miscarriges that women have are as a result of them gazing at the beauty of men!


Thanks, Aaronke, I will be sure to call up ATIME, the Jewish organization for people dealing with infertility and let them know.
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Unread 12-29-2007, 10:04 PM   #130
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Thanks, Aaronke, I will be sure to call up ATIME, the Jewish organization for people dealing with infertility and let them know.
Don't thank me, thank the Mitteler Rebbe.
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Unread 12-31-2007, 12:08 PM   #131
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I was just wondering if you've made any decisions about your issue.
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Unread 12-31-2007, 01:45 PM   #132
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When I was yonger I also went through a stage where I was doing everything right, Chitas Ramba"m etc. but I couldn't help but be impressed here and there by the looks of a pretty girl until a close friend just happened to show me a qoute from the Mitteler Rebbe in his book "Pokeach Ivrim" where the Mitteler Rebbe makes it clear without any ambiguities that Men who gaze at the beauty of women bring upon them the yetzer horo and with it all the evil buried inside of them! And most miscarriges that women have are as a result of them gazing at the beauty of men!
And it truly made it's mark on me! Today it's innocently commenting on the beauty of a "Bas Yisroel" and tommorow it's looking at **** Chas Vesholom. I even heard from a Chossidishe yid that any form of attraction that a male feels to the female is straight from the "eyver kutun". It may not be in its fullest expression, but yet that's the reality. And that's why the Chabad approach is "Hesech Hadoas" complete distraction, not even to attempt to try to deal with these issues or how to make it work ,but rather to stay focused on what we have to do and what it is that the Rebbe wants from us now to make the world a better place.
B"H

I think that it is helpful if one knows that there is something wrong with this. If one is a Chabad chossid and then they read what you wrote here about the Mittler Rebbe zy'a then this will make an impression on them. On the other hand, before I began becoming a Baal Teshuva I recall that I did not even know that there was anything wrong with this. Even in the Torah we find some seemingly contradictory sources, since for example Rebbe Nachman zy'a and the Mittler Rebbe zy'a speak about this issue explicitly, while at the same time we find in Basi LeGani a quote from Chazal about how some Rabbis in the Talmud danced with the bride on their shoulders. The explanation was that since the Rabbi a'h was a tzadik who did not have any evil inclination for the bride, therefore it was ok.

Rebbe Nachman zy'a also said, that the "whole world is a very narrow bridge, but the main thing is to have no fear at all"
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Unread 12-31-2007, 04:57 PM   #133
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But for the rest of us it is a sin and harmful! As Rabbi Yehuda Hanossi said about one who even gets enjoyment from gazing at the finger of a female... I don't know anybody on this forum without a Yetzer Hora.
And regarding a narrow bridge... The whole point of that saying of R. Nachman is to show just how easy it is to fall and... the end... And he said in the contex OF GETTING DISTRACTED BY things like this and other temptations (heard in a shiur on this from a Rov in Scrtanon, Pa)! And the chiddush is NOT to fear but to stay focused on what we HAVE to do and thus confident that we Won't fall...
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Unread 12-31-2007, 05:38 PM   #134
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יוסי בן יוחנן איש ירושלים אומר, יהי ביתך פתוח לרווחה, ויהיו עניים בני ביתך. ואל תרבה שיחה עם האישה-- באשתו אמרו, קל וחומר באשת חברו; מכאן אמרו חכמים, כל המרבה שיחה עם האישה-- גורם רעה לעצמו, ובטיל מדברי תורה, וסופו יירש גיהינם
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Unread 12-31-2007, 08:00 PM   #135
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וכידוע מחלוקת המפרשים בזה.

Last edited by Bittul; 01-01-2008 at 02:13 AM.
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Unread 12-31-2007, 11:10 PM   #136
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K im pretty convinced even though im the girl and most of the responses were for the guy. any ideas for breaking up?
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Unread 12-31-2007, 11:15 PM   #137
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K im pretty convinced even though im the girl and most of the responses were for the guy. any ideas for breaking up?
Baruch Hashem!!! You will be blessed for this big time!!! Let me think about what you could tell him.....
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Unread 12-31-2007, 11:22 PM   #138
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You could tell him that you're only 16 and when you're ready to start going out on shidduchim you might be able to go out with him again. You can tell him some of the things that people have posted here. It will be good for him to hear the truth. I think he should hear your own reasons for your decision.
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Unread 01-01-2008, 01:52 AM   #139
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Hatzlocho Rabbo! And remember that you have the Rebbe with you, guiding you, blessing you and giving you the strength to succeed!
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Unread 01-01-2008, 07:40 AM   #140
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Hatzlocho Rabbo! And remember that you have the Rebbe with you, guiding you, blessing you and giving you the strength to succeed!
It wouldn't hurt if she also remembered that she has Hashem with her, guiding her, blessing her and giving her the strength to succeed!
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Unread 01-01-2008, 08:20 AM   #141
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For those who don't understand the role of the Rebbe and the meaning of a Nossi Hador and how he connects you to Hashem, then I guess you can say it your way!
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Unread 01-01-2008, 08:29 AM   #142
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Why do you assume I don't understand?

One takes precedence over the other. One is the Master and one is His servant. The loshon of "He's here, there and everywhere. And He is always with us and guiding us" used to be reserved for the Ribono shel Olam in the good old days. It's just scary to me to exclude Hashem from the statement you made, to talk like that without mentioning Hashem. It sounds very "on the edge".
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Unread 01-01-2008, 03:33 PM   #143
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I fully understand as someone who's not a Lubavtchier, where you're coming from. The statements you qouted about Hashem are as familiar to me as they are to you. The girl is CLEARLY a Lubavitcher, and we as one family who consider the Rebbe to be our father and teacher it would be like saying, "Dady's love is with you etc..." Also look at the Rashi that explains who's image Yosef saw that prevented him from sining with the wife of Potiphar!
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Unread 01-01-2008, 04:01 PM   #144
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B"H

Esther Yaffa, it seems to me that it would still be best for me to look into a shidduch with Chaya Yehudis first and then to consider a shidduch with you G*d willing at a later time. I am sorry, but this is the way I feel right now. All the best.
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Unread 01-01-2008, 06:46 PM   #145
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I fully understand as someone who's not a Lubavtchier, where you're coming from. The statements you qouted about Hashem are as familiar to me as they are to you. The girl is CLEARLY a Lubavitcher, and we as one family who consider the Rebbe to be our father and teacher it would be like saying, "Dady's love is with you etc..." Also look at the Rashi that explains who's image Yosef saw that prevented him from sining with the wife of Potiphar!
I understand. I thought you were saying more than this. Sorry.
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Unread 01-01-2008, 06:54 PM   #146
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B"H

Esther Yaffa, it seems to me that it would still be best for me to look into a shidduch with Chaya Yehudis first and then to consider a shidduch with you G*d willing at a later time. I am sorry, but this is the way I feel right now. All the best.
is this the new na nach soup opera?
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Unread 01-01-2008, 08:13 PM   #147
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I understand. I thought you were saying more than this. Sorry.
I forgive... Just try to be more educated next time before you accuse. See what ignorance does?... And mind you, my statement came to her AFTER YOURS that had already mentioned HASHEM!!!! I was actualy Adding...
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Unread 01-01-2008, 09:49 PM   #148
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Ashrenu Matove chelkenu etc... Happy 24 Teves!
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Unread 01-02-2008, 04:29 PM   #149
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But for the rest of us it is a sin and harmful! As Rabbi Yehuda Hanossi said about one who even gets enjoyment from gazing at the finger of a female... I don't know anybody on this forum without a Yetzer Hora.
A pinky finger is a yetzer hara? Hmmm....
And while everyone has a y"h (maybe I should kill mine?), I don't think things like that do anything...Let's make a gezeira that women should cover their pinkys and their necks, and everything....like the Arabs. (Sorry, I'm bowling over in laughter...)
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Unread 01-02-2008, 04:46 PM   #150
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Majorthinker: I don't know what you're laughing about. The Sages are clear about the issues. It is foolish, not to mention contrary to halachah, to laugh at them. The proper barriers between men and women have been part of Judaism up until the modern era, when some Jews (including, nebuch, too many Lubavitchers) decided that some mixing was acceptable, for various (stupid) reasons.
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