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Unread 01-31-2010, 03:08 AM   #1
malka b
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Helping the General Jewish community

I was talking to some people, and we discussed some different things that people can to do to help their children enjoy their heritage. Plus, we spoke about different situations and things that can to be done to help. - Of course every situation is different. But here are some thoughts that I would like to share. J
Sometimes, parents might put too much pressure on their children. Too much pressure makes kids want to rebel. Yes, they need structure, but they should be taught through both strictness and love. Help them to enjoy practicing by showing them the beauty and joy, instead of just saying what to do. Plus, when they want to do something that's not so good, explain to them why it's not such a good idea, instead of just no. For example, a friend of mine told a story about this teen who wanted go to a movie, but the father didn't want that. However, he let him choose, but explained why it's not a good idea. The teen went to the movie for a little while and then left it. - Sometimes, we need to let people see for them self so they understand(unless it's dangerous). Of course, every situation is different and some have different outcomes. -

While some kids are the type to do whatever people tell them, there are some that need more. They need to feel the joy and beauty of practicing, and see the meaning of the mitzvos. If Not given this, they might not feel like doing it, and just do it in vain, and then might drop it entirely. For them to keep it, they need to Want to keep it.

Another thing people need to understand is consequences to actions. Many kids are taught about aveiros amd punishment, but for some people, when they see that nothing happens, they feel it's okay to do such and such. What they should be taught is that when they do something wrong, they are hurting their relationship with Hashem, plus hurting their neshama, plus there's the spir impact on the world. And on the flip side, our mitzvos help our relationship with H' and feed our neshama, and give blessing to the world.

An important thing for parents and teachers to do is to listen to the kids and try to understand how they feel and what they need, whether it is space, love or patience. Yes, sometimes teens don't talk much, which is why it's important to learn how to build a connection with them, in order to help guide them. Give them structure, but also let them choose. Inform them Why their idea might not be so good, but let them decide what to do, like the movie example above. And no matter what, show them unconditional love. We feel it inside, but the kids might not know, and so let them know that you love them no matter what.

Sometimes, it's very hard to give each child what they need, but this is what we need to do. And it can be done, there are some good examples who have accomplished this.

Last edited by malka b; 02-08-2010 at 01:49 AM.
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Unread 02-07-2010, 03:07 AM   #2
malka b
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Some good examples who inspire the Jewish community in general.

Like the well known Lori Palatnik

And the well know Rabbi Mechanic from

keep reaching, every effort counts

my blog
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Unread 02-07-2010, 06:49 PM   #3
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All very good points. I would encourage everyone to remember that however hard you push your children, you should be pushing yourself harder. After all, they are children and you are an adult. But if you feel you cannot be pushed any harder yourself, maybe you need to think about how your kids feel too.

And on the same topic... we should all strive to be role models. Every child is different, and we can all serve as a living example for at least some children.
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Unread 02-08-2010, 01:49 AM   #4
malka b
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Great point

Just want to add, while it's very difficult to parent, it is also very rewarding. What helps is for us to focus on the pleasure of watching our children grow, then it takes the edge off the stress, at least a little.

Teachers also have a difficult but very important job because there's the oppertunity to be partners with the parents in helping the children grow. It's best for us to use this moment to the fullest. Children are very curious and want to know. We need to give them this knowledge in order to feed their neshama. We have nothing to hide, our heritage is complete. - Plus if we don't know something, then we can say, we'll look it up and come back to them. Or if we know the answer but don't want to mention it during class, then we can talk to the student after class.
keep reaching, every effort counts

my blog

Last edited by malka b; 02-21-2010 at 06:25 PM.
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