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Unread 10-18-2002, 08:03 AM   #1
Gevurah
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Silver Spoon / Yichud room

What is the source of the custom cited in sefer minhagim to
go over a silver spoon upon entering the Yichud room? Do only Chabadniks do this? Why do we do it?
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Unread 10-18-2002, 10:25 AM   #2
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another question about the yichud room
I recently saw a picture of the room used as the yichud room at weddings at 770, and saw that the room is full of sefarim
what a seemingly peculiar choice for a yichud room
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Unread 10-21-2002, 01:15 PM   #3
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The source of the custom is the Frierdike Rebbe. It's a Segulah for wealth. I can only guess why a spoon and not fork or knife - in general the Rebbeim stayed away from fork and knife due to the sharp edges, for spiritual reasons (not cutting etc.). I think it's not only Chabad Minhag, but I'm not sure. The yichud room in 770 is straight down the hallway from the entrance, and is part of the library, which is why it has Seforim, and was probably used because all other rooms are either public or offices. And it would be peculiar if the Yichud room was used for anything other than eating a bite together for (hopefully) a few minutes, but since it's not, it's fine.
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Unread 10-21-2002, 02:38 PM   #4
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oh, so the eidim are there to make sure that their meal isn't interrupted?
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Unread 10-21-2002, 02:39 PM   #5
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ok, ok
I know, the eidim witness their seclusion.
But still ....
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Unread 10-21-2002, 06:42 PM   #6
EtzChaim613
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I have to agree with Jude here, this is a peculiar choice for a yichud room. Does anyone have insights into why the library was given precedence over perhaps clearing out an office?
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Unread 10-21-2002, 07:42 PM   #7
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at the beginning of this new stage in the couple's life it is necessary to emphasise that their marriage etc must be based on torah vechulhu.

this is not necessarily the reason, but perhaps a lesson since all is hashgocho protis.....
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Unread 10-21-2002, 07:45 PM   #8
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by hashgacha pratis, perhaps a more suitable room could be found
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Unread 10-21-2002, 11:10 PM   #9
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only once the above lesson has been sufficiently internalised.
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Unread 10-21-2002, 11:42 PM   #10
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considering the fact that many Rabbonim were mesader kidushin at hundreds and thousands of chuppahs at 770, knowing that the Yichud room is that room of the library, I assume it is OK.
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Unread 10-22-2002, 11:12 AM   #11
Jude
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no one doubted its being okay
just weird
and don't see any obligation to learn any lessons when choosing appropriate rooms
want a list of lessons? maybe the chasan and kalla should spend a few months there together learning a few dozen sefarim

Last edited by Jude; 10-22-2002 at 07:28 PM.
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Unread 10-22-2002, 06:35 PM   #12
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interesting to think how this would be reconcileable with the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov.......
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Unread 10-22-2002, 06:54 PM   #13
EtzChaim613
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What is the teaching of the Besht in this area?
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Unread 10-22-2002, 07:08 PM   #14
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to learn a lesson from everything you see and hear
I think the lesson is: even after making a choice, you can still change your mind, i.e. another room can be found

Last edited by Jude; 10-22-2002 at 07:28 PM.
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Unread 10-23-2002, 03:38 PM   #15
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Can we just say that, yes, if someone would have considered it strange originally something may have been said, but it's really a done deal now, and there is really no need to change it because there is nothing wrong with it?
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Unread 10-24-2002, 01:32 AM   #16
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Is there anything "right" with it?
I thought the basis for a marriage should be entirely with "lechatchila" and not "bedieved". (i.e. we should do what is right proactively, and not fall back on the "after the fact" leniencies.)
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Unread 10-24-2002, 09:35 AM   #17
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When it's really not a problem in the first place, that's called lechatchila.
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Unread 11-05-2002, 11:53 AM   #18
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I asked about the Silver Spoon. And someone hijacks the thread for some Visbishter agenda. So no one hops over a Spoon anymore ?
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Unread 11-06-2002, 05:50 PM   #19
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Gevurah, hijacking in and of itself is no longer a threat - Dick Cheney is protecting you.

Yes, people do hop over the spoon. Still.
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Unread 11-06-2002, 11:54 PM   #20
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Look, I didnt care if I was shoved into a closet with my wife, we were starving. I was there in the library for our yichud. We broke our fast together, exchanged some jewelry and was out the door in 10 minutes and across the street for pictures for an hour. As far as the spoon goes, I have a great picture of me stepping over it in our wedding album. I actually could have stirred the orange juice with it since it tasted like it was sitting out for a while, but the sponge cake was yummy.
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Unread 11-07-2002, 12:04 AM   #21
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Wink

'exchanged some jewelry'

do you wear a wedding band?
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Unread 11-07-2002, 12:18 AM   #22
BrookAve
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No I dont wear a ring. I aquired her for my wife. I gave HER the ring. She bought me a gold watch which was totally unnecessary.
That's what was "exchanged", in gashmius.
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Unread 11-07-2002, 12:35 AM   #23
shoyn
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i think i got ripped off, i gave my wife a ring and got nothing [in terms of jewellery] in return!!!
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Unread 11-07-2002, 12:46 AM   #24
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Ask for the ring back!
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Unread 11-07-2002, 09:39 AM   #25
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Forget about the silly ring, ask for your money back from the Shadchan!
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