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Unread 08-18-2004, 11:54 PM   #151
Nissan
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Photoshopped!
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Unread 08-19-2004, 02:53 AM   #152
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Very cute...
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Unread 08-19-2004, 01:58 PM   #153
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I have joined alcholics annoyomous
started drinking under a new name!
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Unread 08-19-2004, 10:09 PM   #154
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Do not,I repeat DO NOT drink and fly!
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Unread 08-19-2004, 10:23 PM   #155
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Unread 08-19-2004, 11:16 PM   #156
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LOL!
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Unread 08-23-2004, 01:12 AM   #157
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And they just keep on comin..
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Unread 08-23-2004, 01:26 AM   #158
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It looks like Iraq has now vurged with the 'Fisher Price' retail store..
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Unread 08-23-2004, 01:28 AM   #159
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oops..here we go...
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Unread 08-23-2004, 01:33 AM   #160
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Unread 08-25-2004, 04:54 PM   #161
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Re: Jokes (3)

Isn't it funny...

...that 10$ seems like alot when we give to tzeddaka, but so little when we go shopping.

...how one hour seems so long when we daven and so short when we watch a ballgame.

...how two hours in shul seem much longer then when we watch a movie.

...how when a ballgame goes in overtime we get so excited, but when davening last a little longer then usual, we complain.

...how we find reading a whole parsha from the Torah tiring, but it's so easy to read 200 pages from the latest novel.

...how we want to sit in the front row when we go to a basketball game or theatre, but that we sit in the last rows of shul.

...how we need two-three weeks notice when there is an event to attend in shul, and how we are always available for other events or programs.

...how we have difficulty learning and retelling the parsha but it's so easy for us to learn and tell the latest gossip.

...how we believe in the media but we question the Torah.

...how we send millions of jokes via email that spread like wildfire, but when we receive something about Judiasm or Chassidus, we don't resend them to anyone.
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Unread 08-25-2004, 05:04 PM   #162
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Re: Jokes (3)

True. True.
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Unread 08-25-2004, 08:44 PM   #163
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Re: Jokes (3)

CHABAD TALK VS. FRUMTEENS
CHABAD TALK WINS!
http://www.googlefight.com/cgi-bin/c...re=1&langue=us
(Not a joke, but click the link to see!)
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Unread 08-25-2004, 10:30 PM   #164
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Re: Jokes (3)

I don't know if it's a sad thing or maybe it's funny that there was a fight!?
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Unread 08-25-2004, 10:52 PM   #165
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Re: Jokes (3)

It was rather mind boggeling.
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Unread 08-25-2004, 11:22 PM   #166
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Re: Jokes (3)

did you used chabadtalk (one word) or chabad talk (two words) ?
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Unread 08-26-2004, 12:27 AM   #167
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Re: Jokes (3)

Chabadtalk as one word lost, so I had to do it as two words. It takes two search terms and "fights" to see which has more pages listed. I dunno, interesting use of google...
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Unread 08-26-2004, 01:13 AM   #168
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Re: Jokes (3)

Very creative of you to find such a thing!
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Unread 08-26-2004, 01:31 AM   #169
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Talking Re: Jokes (3)

A rabbi and a priest were talking and they were discussing miracles that happened to them during during their life.

So the priest tells some of his:
One time I was on a ship and it started sinking I prayed to G-d, and I was saved! Another time I was on a train it crashed head-on with another one, I prayed to G-d and, I was saved!

So the Rabbi says, "Oh, you think those are miracles??? Listen to this one...":
One Shobbos I was walking to home and I saw $1000 in cash, so I prayed to G-d, and it was Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Unread 08-29-2004, 11:40 PM   #170
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Re: Jokes (3)

~No help needed~

Issy, a reform Jew, is invited to his nephew's barmitzvah. The invitation also says that they would like him to do an aliyah. Not being a regular shul goer, he learns how to do it. Everyday he practises, "Barachu Et Hashem Hamevorach... Baruch Hashem Hamevorach Leolam Vaed."
On the day before the barmitzvah, he practises it one more time and when he went to sleep that night, he was confident that he knew it well.
The day of the barmitzvah arrives and soon it was his turn in the shul. He goes up and says, "Barachu Et Hashem Hamevorach."
Everyone behind him then said, "Barachu Hashem Hamevorach Leolam Vaed."
"SHUT UP,” he shouts, "I can do it myself!"
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Unread 08-29-2004, 11:45 PM   #171
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Re: Jokes (3)

The Burned Ears

A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''

''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.

''How do you think I called you people?''
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Unread 08-29-2004, 11:45 PM   #172
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Re: Jokes (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by YossTek
Chabadtalk as one word lost, so I had to do it as two words. It takes two search terms and "fights" to see which has more pages listed. I dunno, interesting use of google...
Chabadtalk.com and Frumteen(*).com
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Unread 08-29-2004, 11:46 PM   #173
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Re: Jokes (3)

this ones a cute one...

~Make a Sentence~

Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate. She gave him the words 'defeat,' 'deduct,' 'defense,' and 'detail.' Jack stood seriously for a while with all eyes focused on him awaiting his reply:

''Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!''
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Unread 08-31-2004, 11:40 AM   #174
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Re: Jokes (3)

Need a new Becher? How about a used one? Evay, your one stop for all your used Judaica needs.
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Unread 08-31-2004, 11:46 AM   #175
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Re: Jokes (3)

I don't remember if this one actually went up by the Shul or not:
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