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Unread 08-26-2002, 02:35 PM   #51
lambda
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Originally posted by coolteen
do u think that all girls in public school have feelings for all the boys in public school?
In a way, yes. Girls do not treat boys like they treat girls, and vice-versa. Even if there is no expressed attraction, it is always different than dealing with a person of the same gender.

BTW: I went through mixed public schooling until grade 12.
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Unread 08-26-2002, 02:39 PM   #52
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lambda
they do not!!!!!!
some of the boys are just their friends!!!
in truth, most of the times boys can be better friends than girls are. girls are always changes their moods and ideas and u never know waht are going to be feeling then!!!!!!
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Unread 08-26-2002, 03:38 PM   #53
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i also go to a co-ed school, but i think it just makes u stronger
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Unread 08-26-2002, 03:51 PM   #54
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cool, are you actually familiar with the guy/girl situation in public schools? I see it every day. A guy is someone you rate according to how attractive they are to you - some you may love, some you may like, some you hate, some you dont care for. Same with the girls.

The point? Whether you like it or not, you're immature as a teenager. You may be "mature" in the sense that you are more aware of things that happen around you, more well-behaved or less, but you are not mature enough to make proper decisions on your own. I don't mean "you" as in you personally, but rather as in teenagers.

To be able to be centered, to have your own personality first and not have a personality that you developed around or based on someone elses personality, is the first step of maturity. When that is established, you can go further in relationships with the other sex. And yes, even "just" talking is building a relationship. You may never pursue it, but you've developed the start of a relationship.

What you CAN do, if you really want to continue some sort of meaningful relationship with your parents:
A) Talk to them directly and say, I want to understand why I have to do this, that and the other. Why no short socks, why no boys, why go to school, whatever it is. All I want is an answer, not an argument over whether I have to do it or not.
B) Questions they have answers for, think over their answers SERIOUSLY. Try to find your OWN answers. You, on your own, may sometimes come up with good answers to your own questions. That's another sign of maturity: Question something that if you would be right and not have to do it would make your life a lot more comfortable, and then find the answer to the question that forces you to continue doing whatever it is you are uncomfortable with.
C) Questions with no answers, or if you have a bad relationship with them and won't listen to their answers: Tell them that you want their help in finding someone you are comfortable talking with. Keep on trying to find someone who makes you comfortable while answering and discussing questions and issues.

I have more advice :-), but seriously speaking, you sound like you would like to have someone to talk to - and the internet may be a good place to start, but it's no place for a serious discussion. If you really want more ideas after trying the above, just holler.
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Unread 08-26-2002, 03:52 PM   #55
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And this needed a separate post:

Whatever may happen, please remember that every Mitzvah that you DO do is tremendously precious to Hashem, literally counted by Him like a diamond. So don't stop doing whatever Jewish things you are doing because you feel like it's all or nothing!
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Unread 08-26-2002, 06:41 PM   #56
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Very good point, Bittul
Thanks
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Unread 08-27-2002, 03:23 AM   #57
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I also went to a co-ed school before i became a BT and i argue that i have become alot more stronger now that im not at a co-ed school because there you are restraint from your yiddishkeit by "peer pressure" and girls really tightens peer pressure to a greater extent.
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Unread 08-27-2002, 11:51 AM   #58
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well, things have gotten to the point that even if we start a serious conversation, it will ultimatl end up in a screaming match, so wh excersize m vocal cords in the first place?
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Unread 08-27-2002, 03:42 PM   #59
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Huh?
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Unread 08-27-2002, 03:58 PM   #60
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I thought I had replied, but I guess not...

cool, can you try my third suggestion then? If you can't find someone to talk to yourself, and your parents are no help, I;m sure one of the moderators here can find you someone to be in touch with. Just send a PM to one of them.
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Unread 08-27-2002, 03:59 PM   #61
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I guess it has a lot to do with the individual- some of my siblings went through the same system as me, and came out with a lot more scars...
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Unread 08-27-2002, 04:26 PM   #62
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You can also try writing to your parents- they can't argue with a piece of paper . That usually works, just make sure not to be too rude.
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Unread 08-28-2002, 02:29 AM   #63
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bittul
I thought I had replied, but I guess not...

I;m sure one of the moderators here can find you someone to be in touch with. Just send a PM to one of them.
How exactly should cool send a PM? cool is in PM limbo with the rest of us little people
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Unread 08-28-2002, 03:12 AM   #64
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Cool should do what I did and email the contact us section on the bottom of the page
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Unread 08-28-2002, 01:06 PM   #65
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This thread illustrates the dangers of being a shliach in places were the kids become influenced................Cool teen, if I may ask, howcome your dad did not send you to a frum all girls school out of town?
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Unread 08-28-2002, 03:06 PM   #66
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<<the dangers of being a shliach in places were the kids become influenced>>

like any location without a serious Chabad community
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Unread 08-28-2002, 07:24 PM   #67
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because pretzel999, a person needs to be emotionally ready to leave ones place of birth at a young age.
and about the paper writing, my mother would just say that she cant talk to a pape and if i have something to say i should say it to her!!!!!
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Unread 08-28-2002, 09:38 PM   #68
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<<my mother would just say...>>>

Did you try it?
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Unread 08-28-2002, 11:08 PM   #69
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try a tape recorder, it might work better.
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Unread 08-31-2002, 09:48 PM   #70
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cute, but no go
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Unread 08-31-2002, 11:06 PM   #71
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like I said before... did you try it?
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Unread 08-31-2002, 11:25 PM   #72
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no
do u have excpirience?
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Unread 08-31-2002, 11:38 PM   #73
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yes
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Unread 09-01-2002, 04:30 PM   #74
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BS"D <<i think it just makes u stronger>>

The Rebbe does not exactly agree.
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Unread 09-01-2002, 05:46 PM   #75
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Even in a Shlichus position?
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