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Unread 07-06-2007, 09:58 AM   #351
Torah613
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Quote:
Originally Posted by my_soul_thirsts View Post
hmm, well I have a kind of odd situation, and I was wondering if anyone could help.

Okay, so I have a great Mashpia, she totally understands me, and she is SO smart... But since she got married, and moved half way around the world (not exaggerating), it has been getting harder and harder to reach her. She is still a great friend of mine, and I look to her for answers, but I'm not sure if I should get another Mashpia who is maybe a little closer. Before she left, she was my teacher, so it was no problem to reach her, but now I have to wait weeks sometimes before we can talk.

I tried bringing the subject up with her, and she just said "You know that you can always talk to me whenever you want, but if you feel that you need someone closer, then so be it..." So, I don't exactly know what to do...

any ideas???
Only practical thing is to find someone else.
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Unread 07-10-2007, 08:48 PM   #352
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HaMayseh- first of all, next time please split a long post up somehow.

In general- because I hate being told to call back later, when a mushpa calls I try to speak right away, unless I have a really pressing situation. But then again, over the course of time I realized that halfway-across-the-world mashpia relationships are very difficult on both ends. So for anyone who has one of those, I would say try to get a local mashpia.
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Unread 07-10-2007, 11:42 PM   #353
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sorry bout the long post,

also i forgot to mention that for two years i was overseas and my mashpia was in america and it was actually easier to talk to her then.......... cuz when it was late for me it wasnt so late for her

so it sometimes works........
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Unread 07-11-2007, 04:22 PM   #354
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LOL....are you one of those people who likes the later hours better?
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Unread 07-11-2007, 07:56 PM   #355
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Thanks for all your input, but due to some new info I think I'm just gonna wait it out. I spoke to my mashpia recently, and she and her husband plan to move back in a couple months iy"h So, thanks again, this site is pretty cool!
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Unread 07-12-2007, 12:18 AM   #356
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yes, more of a night person than morning, and soul thirsts....... baruch hashem i am glad everything worked out for you....... some things just sort themselves out. and i wish you that any problems or obstacles you have in life sort themselves out just as smoothly. g'luck!
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Unread 12-16-2007, 02:17 AM   #357
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i still dont get this whole thing. i went through 3 mashpios already though none for very long and i did not feel the least bit comfortable with any. part of the problem wahat though i was that i truly did not know what i was ever supposed to say being that i was told countless times to find one but was never informed about the role this person should take. each time though i found it exceedingly hard to ask them and in the end all for not. if anyone can help me with that that would be cool. thanks.
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Unread 12-20-2007, 01:38 AM   #358
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I'm sure it's been said here before, but a mashpia is a spiritual mentor. You can think of it like a personal fitness trainer. Your mashpia should be helping guide you to continue growing, and advise you in what areas or ways you should try to improve.

Practical examples:

Leah hates davening. She usually just opens the siddur, mumbles a few things, and hopes that Tefila will end soon. So she calls her mashpia, because she feels guilty that she's not even saying the words. Her mashpia tries to inspire her to understand the importance of davening, and suggests that she try davening from an English siddur. When Leah balks, her mashpia tells her to at least say Shema and Shmoneh Esrei properly. A week or so later, Leah's mashpia calls her to ask how it's going.

Chaya Malka is in 10th grade, and is really looking forward to being a day camp counselor for the first year. Her mashpia discusses the pros and cons with her, and concludes that the "fun" camp isn't right for her, even though Chaya Malka's friends are encouraging her to come with them. Chaya Malka argues their side until she feels satisfied that her mashpia is right.

Miriam's birthday is coming up soon. She tells her mashpia that she wants to make a hachlata to start davening maariv. Her mashpia points out that Miriam's kibud av v'eim is a higher priority, and Miriam agrees to mentally recite the pesukim when she feels herself getting mad at her parents.

Shaina is sort of satisfied with where she's holding. She learns some letters from the Rebbe with her mashpia every week or two. They often end up discussing what makes you chassidish, and Shaina finds herself trying a bit harder when challenges come up in her Avodas Hashem.

- - -

Examples of "mashpia questions:"

- Do I really need to go to the Motzei Shabbos farbrengens?
- A girl in my class said she wears tznius pajamas. Does that really matter?
- Is it OK to go on mivtzoyim before I daven on Sundays?
- I find myself dropping all my hachlatos during vacations. What should I do about it?
- How often should I write to the Rebbe?
- I do a kids' Oneg Shabbos group, but I am sooo pressured. Should I drop it?
- My class is going on a trip to the mall on Sunday, but I feel uncomfortable about it. Should I go anyway?
- Whenever I think about how un-chassidish I am, I get depressed. What should I do?
- My Chumash class is really hard. Should I go down a level?
- Is it appropriate for me to be posting on ChabadTalk?
- Do you think I'm ready for shidduchim? ;-)

A great suggestion for finding a mashpia:
- Think of someone who you respect. Call her and ask her advice about one of your "smaller" questions. If you can't think of any questions, read letters from the Rebbe until you come up with one (even just "the Rebbe mentions iskafya. How does that apply nowadays?"). See how she responds. IF you like her style, you can ask her to be your mashpia. If you don't, you heard her advice, and now try someone else!

A good suggestion for keeping a mashpia:
- Learn with your mashpia regularly. A sicha is nice, but can be overwhelming. So maybe try learning a few letters, or even just one.


This was not a complete treatment of the topic, but I hope it gives you a place to start from!
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Unread 12-20-2007, 11:09 AM   #359
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hisht, how come i never hear from you anymore? (like im on chabadtalk 3 hours a day... )
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Unread 12-21-2007, 12:47 AM   #360
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My spouse doesn't like men & women conversing with each other, even Ruchnius things. My spouse thinks it's very the opposite of Chassidish. So I visit to read every once in a while and try not to converse. (FREE lessons in Shalom Bayis! Available 24/6 at 1-800-GO-HISHT!)

You can always email me...
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Unread 12-21-2007, 02:32 AM   #361
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We aren't men or women. We are all androgynous. Ukemefurash in the takanos of ChabadTalk.
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Unread 01-02-2008, 04:02 PM   #362
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What the Rambam calls androgynous is a slight problem regarding halachot. How about: we are male OR female, but not both. By the way, androgynous also has an opposite, who also has a problem (as if men and women have none!).
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Unread 02-28-2009, 04:51 PM   #363
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Here's a cute/ interesting GPS article....
Attached Files
File Type: doc alumni KOSHER GPS.doc (35.5 KB, 318 views)
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Unread 02-28-2009, 05:14 PM   #364
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true, but many people who use only a GPS, loose the ability to read a map..
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Unread 02-28-2009, 05:34 PM   #365
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True. But that's because they were never taught how to use a map.
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Unread 03-04-2009, 02:04 PM   #366
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ahhh...so a true mashpia teaches how to read a map, not only in which direction to turn at the moment!
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Unread 03-04-2009, 03:13 PM   #367
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Indeed.
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Unread 05-27-2009, 07:02 PM   #368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newnew View Post
i still dont get this whole thing. i went through 3 mashpios already though none for very long and i did not feel the least bit comfortable with any. part of the problem wahat though i was that i truly did not know what i was ever supposed to say being that i was told countless times to find one but was never informed about the role this person should take. each time though i found it exceedingly hard to ask them and in the end all for not. if anyone can help me with that that would be cool. thanks.
k, that sounds like me, except im only on my second mashpia... really, what on earth am i supposed to be saying to this person?!
what happened with my first mashpia was that i would not speak to her for months at a time, until an "issue" came up... and in the rare case when i did need help, i felt my mashpia didnt know me well enough to help...
so can someone explain how to technicaly make it work?
(other then learning together, which is kinda hard cuz we're both busy, and soon we're going to be in different countrys all together...)
basicaly my main question is what i should be saying... (today i davened, and yesterday, and the day before, and since first grade, or was it preschool...?!?!)
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Unread 05-30-2009, 06:10 PM   #369
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Not since preschool, only since fourth grade.

But I understand what you're saying.
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