Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk  

Go Back   Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk > Torah and Judaism > Teenagers

Reply
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Unread 01-03-2008, 07:25 PM   #176
Meshulam
Senior Diamond Member
 
Meshulam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by JewishHiphop View Post
B"H

Is 'love before marriage' recommended in chassidic circles?
No. (The answer is that simple)
Meshulam is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 07:45 PM   #177
flyaway
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by JewishHiphop View Post
B"H

Is 'love before marriage' recommended in chassidic circles?
Are you crazy?
flyaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 07:52 PM   #178
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by JewishHiphop View Post
B"H

Is 'love before marriage' recommended in chassidic circles?
Yes it is!...v'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha and v'ahavta le'reiacha camocha.
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 08:19 PM   #179
chossidnistar
Senior Diamond Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,699
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFinkelstein View Post
No I don't really understand what the issue is. They want to stop but don't think it's possible. To me it looks like there is a good chance they will eventually get married if they already love each other so much. If this is so, then I think they should tell their parents right now and their parents will advise them how to proceed.
you don't sound as an expert to help in this situation
chossidnistar is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 08:50 PM   #180
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by chossidnistar View Post
you don't sound as an expert to help in this situation
You are correct. I am not an expert. I was asking questions to try to understand the situation. It wasn't clear to me what was going on. But if Majorthinker is right, then I understand now. But this doesn't mean anybody should take my advice. I'm just brainstorming ideas to try to help.
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 09:22 PM   #181
chossidnistar
Senior Diamond Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,699
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFinkelstein View Post
But this doesn't mean anybody should take my advice. .
getting married at 16? in 5768?in Lub?
chossidnistar is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 09:24 PM   #182
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by chossidnistar View Post
getting married at 16? in 5768?in Lub?
That's not what I meant.....

I meant getting married in a few years...you know, waiting for eachother.....
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 10:14 PM   #183
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Majorthinker, 10 points! you hit the nail on the head! thats exactly it. we are too tight to suddenly cut off communication (a sign that we went too far) so i need tips on how to stop seeingand talking to him
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 11:18 PM   #184
chossidnistar
Senior Diamond Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,699
Chittas
How long ago did you start talking to your friend?
chossidnistar is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2008, 11:39 PM   #185
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by chitas=connect View Post
we are too tight to suddenly cut off communication...so i need tips on how to stop seeingand talking to him
Do you see that this is a contradiction? On the one hand you believe that it is IMPOSSIBLE to suddenly stop. On the other hand you are looking for advice how to do it.

If you believe it is impossible, then maybe you are really in love and in a few years from now you will be married to each other. But since you are asking for advice how to stop, you do believe it's possible.

So the only advice for how to suddenly stop "seeing and talking to him" is.....to suddenly stop. You want to suddenly stop then the only thing to do is suddenly stop.

It will be difficult and painful but it will pass soon enough. If it doesn't pass then maybe there is a future with him.
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:26 AM   #186
Aaronke
Silver Member
 
Aaronke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 580
Dear Chitas=connect, you are 16 and therefore but a minor. NO ONE should be advising you about this and, - or, if you should or shouldn't marry, or who to marry and when, WITHOUT YOUR BELOVED PARENTS knowing what the heavens is going on!
You said you can't do it to save your skin! DO IT and your parents will only love you and respect you more. And if you need a trusted friend to be their with you when you open up to your dear mother, then so be it.
We live in a dark golus. I heard from Rabbi Chazan form Manchester, UK who quoted from the Medrash that the when the Jews left Mitzraim, Hashem had to take them out himself since they had sunk to the 49th level of Tuma and one more level and they would be gone! The Medrash continues that in the time right before Moshiach, the Jews will sink to the 50th! It is normal! We all have yetzer Horos and your parents will respect you for your courage and honesty and willingness to change. Please! This might be the last iskafya that will bring the shchina and with it the ultimate geula!
I HEARBY TAKE UPON MYSELF TO LEARN AN EXTRA PEREK TANYA FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS FOR YOUR ZECHUS AND FOR THE ZECHUS OF THE SUCCESS OF YOUR BRAVE DEED!
Good luck!
Aaronke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:26 AM   #187
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
K ill try to clarify. NO we do not want to marry each other. what im trying to say is that being that we are already so close it is impossible to one day cut off communication even when it is mutual (is this clearer?) you see i need help on how to break it in a way that WILL work meaning in a way where i wont stop just for a day and then continue the realtionship. is this better mr. finkel?
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:28 AM   #188
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by chossidnistar View Post
Chittas
How long ago did you start talking to your friend?
its been a couple months why do you ask?
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:32 AM   #189
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaronke View Post
Please! This might be the last iskafya that will bring the shchina and with it the ultimate geula!
I HEARBY TAKE UPON MYSELF TO LEARN AN EXTRA PEREK TANYA FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS FOR YOUR ZECHUS AND FOR THE ZECHUS OF THE SUCCESS OF YOUR BRAVE DEED!
Good luck!
WOW! ok thats it im dropping thi sguy like a hot potato. i cant believe a person who doesnt know me nor all th edetails would do something so pure. IM DONE WHITH GUY FOREVER DELETED HIS NUMBER AND I WILL NEVER MEET NOR SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN. MOSHIACH NOW!!!!

zol shien zein de guelah
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:36 AM   #190
Aaronke
Silver Member
 
Aaronke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 580
Moshiach now is right! And let us all unite together to do one more thing to bring about the hisgalus of Moshiach Tekef umiad Momosh! Momosh! Momosh!
(p.s. I just finished learning Igeres Hatshuva perek 2 right now)
Aaronke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:47 AM   #191
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaronke View Post
Moshiach now is right! And let us all unite together to do one more thing to bring about the hisgalus of Moshiach Tekef umiad Momosh! Momosh! Momosh!
(p.s. I just finished learning Igeres Hatshuva perek 2 right now)
WOAH!!!!!!! that is spooky major!
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:57 AM   #192
flyaway
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 231
Hashgocho protis means that Hashem runs the world to the tee!
flyaway is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:58 AM   #193
Aaronke
Silver Member
 
Aaronke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 580
Indeed! And as Hashem runs the world, may he lead us to geula NOW! NOW! NOW!
Aaronke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 01:19 AM   #194
chossidnistar
Senior Diamond Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,699
Quote:
Originally Posted by chitas=connect View Post
WOW! ok thats it im dropping thi sguy like a hot potato. i cant believe a person who doesnt know me nor all th edetails would do something so pure. IM DONE WHITH GUY FOREVER DELETED HIS NUMBER AND I WILL NEVER MEET NOR SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN. MOSHIACH NOW!!!!

zol shien zein de guelah
very nice chitas!
chossidnistar is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 07:46 AM   #195
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaronke View Post
Dear Chitas=connect, you are 16 and therefore but a minor. NO ONE should be advising you about this and, - or, if you should or shouldn't marry, or who to marry and when, WITHOUT YOUR BELOVED PARENTS knowing what the heavens is going on!
Of course. If you read my posts, from the very first one, and over and over again I stressed that she needs to tell her parents and that her parents must be the ones to advise her. The only thing I was suggesting for her to do was to either break it off herself or to consult her parents about her situation if she finds it impossible to break it off or really doesn't want to. I am very happy that she has made the right decision. May she go from strength to strength and may her true beshert find her in the right time.
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2008, 12:59 PM   #196
MrFinkelstein
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by JewishHiphop View Post
B"H

What were you planning to do with me in the meanwhile, hold me hostage somewhere, like you have been doing to my father recently? I don't think so.
Your jokes are over my head.
MrFinkelstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-05-2008, 01:35 PM   #197
Majorthinker
Executive Diamond Member
 
Majorthinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,615
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFinkelstein View Post
Do you see that this is a contradiction? On the one hand you believe that it is IMPOSSIBLE to suddenly stop. On the other hand you are looking for advice how to do it.

If you believe it is impossible, then maybe you are really in love and in a few years from now you will be married to each other. But since you are asking for advice how to stop, you do believe it's possible.

So the only advice for how to suddenly stop "seeing and talking to him" is.....to suddenly stop. You want to suddenly stop then the only thing to do is suddenly stop.

It will be difficult and painful but it will pass soon enough. If it doesn't pass then maybe there is a future with him.
She knows logically that it is wrong, and therefore wants to stop. OTOH, she 'loves' him, and is having 'fun', so it is hard. We call this a war between the nefesh elokis and the nefesh habahamis.

Oh- and chitas....how do I understand? It's not my first time helping a girl in this situation. Let's just say that. (1-800-MASHPIA)
__________________
!חסידים איין משפחה
One big happy family!

הוי כתלמידיו של אהרן הכהן!
Majorthinker is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-05-2008, 01:36 PM   #198
Majorthinker
Executive Diamond Member
 
Majorthinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,615
Quote:
Originally Posted by chitas=connect View Post
WOW! ok thats it im dropping thi sguy like a hot potato. i cant believe a person who doesnt know me nor all th edetails would do something so pure. IM DONE WHITH GUY FOREVER DELETED HIS NUMBER AND I WILL NEVER MEET NOR SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN. MOSHIACH NOW!!!!

zol shien zein de guelah
May this be the end of it, and may you have the strength to follow through until the end.
__________________
!חסידים איין משפחה
One big happy family!

הוי כתלמידיו של אהרן הכהן!
Majorthinker is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:06 PM   #199
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Oh- and chitas....how do I understand? It's not my first time helping a girl in this situation. Let's just say that. (1-800-MASHPIA)[/quote]

wish that number was real.................
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:13 PM   #200
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
[quote=Majorthinker;138719]We call this a war between the nefesh elokis and the nefesh habahamis.quote]

We also call this divorcing mind from actions
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Addressing a Member of the Opposite Gender noahidelaws Modesty - Tznius 41 02-17-2008 01:24 AM
chatting with non-religious or not jewish of opposite gender believer Modesty - Tznius 4 01-29-2006 02:51 PM
Speaking with the opposite gender on Mivzoim Jude Modesty - Tznius 122 10-16-2003 11:25 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2001 - 2016 ChabadTalk.com