Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk  

Go Back   Jewish Forum & Discussions - Chabad Talk > Torah and Judaism > Teenagers

Reply
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Unread 10-23-2008, 11:43 AM   #1
constantavodah
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 64
At a Loss

I need some guidance, perhaps someone here has advice and is willing to help me out. when i go to the ohel or write panim and letters i find it hard to daven for myself, I start out writing/davening for one person to have gezunt another to have hatzlacho another for a shidduch another for a refuah shelaima another for money etc..... and then when it comes to my issues and personal needs i think to myself these people need so much help how can i daven for my own "simple" (simple compared to them) needs.
here is actually something that happened to me at my last visit to the ohel: I entered the ohel said the maneh lashon and read my pan then i started to say tehillim and i couldn't bring myself to daven for the brachos that i needed! All I could think of was how can I daven for myself when this person is so sick and that person desperately needs a shidduch!!!!!!! when it came time to leave i left with tears i felt confused and helpless.
Similar reactions have occurred over again when ever i write panim and i never get to ask for what i need b/c as i explained I feel like i cannot! but at the same time i really need to tell the rebbe these things and ask for the rebbes brachos. what can i do about this? how can i resolve this issue?
constantavodah is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 10-23-2008, 11:53 AM   #2
Majorthinker
Executive Diamond Member
 
Majorthinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,615
I don't know how to answer, but I can definitely say that I am afflicted with the same problem. However, you can always daven for a friend who has the same need as you, and have your friend daven for you. That might work. Then again, one needs to daven for themselves in order to make a kli for the bracha.
__________________
!חסידים איין משפחה
One big happy family!

הוי כתלמידיו של אהרן הכהן!
Majorthinker is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 10-23-2008, 12:43 PM   #3
Shmully
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 138
In 5738 (after the Rebbe had a heart attack), a woman who needed a Brocho for health told Rabbi JJ Hecht not to ask the Rebbe for a Brocho for her, because "he (the Rebbe) needs it more than me". Rabbi Hecht told this to the Rebbe, and the Rebbe said to tell her that Hashem has enough good health for her and for me.
It is wonderful to ask for Brochos for others, and even before yourself, but that should not stop you from asking for your own needs. Aderabba (on the contrary), if you will have all the things that you need, you may have more Menuchas Hanefesh (calmness) to be able to help others
Shmully is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 10-24-2008, 06:52 AM   #4
constantavodah
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shmully View Post
It is wonderful to ask for Brochos for others, and even before yourself, but that should not stop you from asking for your own needs. Aderabba (on the contrary), if you will have all the things that you need, you may have more Menuchas Hanefesh (calmness) to be able to help others
here's the thing its not that morally i am being stopped from asking for myself for example im not thinking "how could you ask for yourself when all these people are suffering?" its more like i cant bring myself to daven far zich alein, i really want to but s/t is stopping me. Am I being clear? its more an emotion rather than a moral decision

Oh and btw I also have this issue when im saying tehillim, I hardly ever say my own kappital.....
constantavodah is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-02-2008, 11:11 PM   #5
When?
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 21
BH
thats beautiful that you always put others before yourself... if only we all had such Ahavas Yisroel... (this is what the Rebbe trully wants...)

It is good to say your own kappitel every day, im not sure the exact reason why but im pretty sure its something your SUPPOSED to do!
__________________
MOSHIACH NOW!!!!!AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When? is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-03-2008, 06:42 PM   #6
Shmully
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 138
I second the compliment of when? for your Ahavas Yisroel. Still, don't refrain from asking for your own needs also. Your needs are part of your helping others. If you want a Hisbonenus, constantavodah, how about this: if your own needs or desires were taken care of, you could give more time and effort for others. Some people ask for Hatzlocho in a personal thing, with a Hachloto that they will give themselves over (davenning, but also with practical activism) to helping others in the very thing they are praying for.
Shmully is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-03-2008, 08:36 PM   #7
chossidnistar
Senior Diamond Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,699
Constant

this is beatifull. continue like this,this is AY Mehadrin min Hamehadrin!

if you don't have time to ask for you
http://www.ohelchabad.org/templates/...g-a-letter.htm

you can fax a letter almost anytime
chossidnistar is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2009, 03:43 PM   #8
mushka18
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 16
B''H you brought this up because i allways thought i was the only one with this problem. I always davven for other people because when you see what other people need i feel my problems aren't so bad. but i learned Hashem listens to any davvening however small it is.
mushka18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2009, 06:46 PM   #9
noahidelaws
Executive Platinum Member
 
noahidelaws's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,479
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me" is said alongside "if I am only for myself, what am I."
noahidelaws is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-03-2009, 11:47 PM   #10
emes m'eretz
Diamond Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,192
Perhaps a solution would be to not ask in detail. So you could ask a brocho for everything good physically and spirtually. Or you could make it shorter and just ask for a brocho for good news.

You could either do this seperately, or you could just write it at the end of your prayers for others, and it can include yourself too.


By the way, if it will help at all, I remember hearing many years ago from a Chassidishe Yid, a venerable shliach, that when we asked to Rebbe for brochos, he only asked for others. He didn't ask for himself.
emes m'eretz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2009, 01:07 AM   #11
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Or this: just the other night I was writing a letter to the rebbe, to telll him bout something that had happened-not good- that same evening. and as i was writing the event it just became so trivial and I felt bad telling the rebbe about it (even though 15 minutes earlier i was crying). so instead of continuing to write about what happened instead i wrote "oy why am i bothering the rebbe with such petty little things" and continued with some hachlotos that i had taken and requested a bracha for someone's refuah shelayma.
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2009, 01:11 AM   #12
Torah613
ChabadTalk.com Elder!
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 11,716
In the old days, I can see the problem with "bothering the rebbe about little things". These days בעוה"ר that "problem" obviously does not apply when sending a letter to the Ohel.
Torah613 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2009, 01:30 AM   #13
chitas=connect
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
It wasnt really a feeling of taking the rebbe's time, it was more like 'burdening' the rebbe with this type of matter. it really is no petty deal just when i was writing i suddenly felt that i shouldnt bother the rebbe with this.
  Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2009, 02:02 AM   #14
emes m'eretz
Diamond Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,192
I think that there may be different emotions and thoughts at work here.

Some people may not want to talk about, or write about things that bother them, because it may be painful to dwell on it.
And perhaps, during the time that they write to the Rebbe, it's a time when they feel very much in touch with themselves (and with the Rebbe), and therefore they may then be more sensitive to, and pained by thinking about their personal problems.

Or they may want to go with a strong feeling of "Think good and it will be good."

Some people may feel that the Rebbe is very close to them, and they feel that the Rebbe would want them to spend time on constructive things, and not to get "down" and write sad details etc. to the Rebbe if they don't have to.

And some people may just feel such a close feeling with the Rebbe, that they don't have the energy or the breitkeit to write about themselves. It's just Rebbe and them, and the rest (ie. their own personal issues; in contrast to another Jew's problem, as it says, if I recall correctly, "another Jew's physical is your spiritual") melts away.
emes m'eretz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2009, 02:05 AM   #15
emes m'eretz
Diamond Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,192
And perhaps some people just feel, when they feel close to the Rebbe, that there are no problems, and that everything will soon be good in a revealed good.
emes m'eretz is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-27-2009, 01:45 AM   #16
Eitan770
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 69
Halivai everyone should have such "issues."
Eitan770 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2001 - 2016 ChabadTalk.com